As if things weren't perilous enough for an England team already ridden with flaws, what on earth does Fabio Capello do now with Wayne Rooney? The problem -- assuming his three-match ban is upheld -- is that should England somehow get through the group stages (an unlikely scenario, one must say, based on England's previous European Championships record, general form, Rooney's absence and the fact that the Euros live the cliche of not throwing up easy games), then the team which did so would be, in a way, 'punished' by being dismantled. In short, at this point it looks like it would be some achievement to get out of the group, and the reward for that: one of you who helped England do that loses your place. The alternative is to not take Rooney, but, honestly, can Capello even dare to consider not taking the only English player with the natural ability to turn a match on its head?

Capello concerned by lack of energy:

On this week's Gadsby's England roundup, have Joe Hart, Darren Bent and Andy Carroll solved England's goalkeeping and goalscoring problems? And, like the rest of Britain, Gadsby's is readying himself for the big event on Friday which is captivating the nation, indeed the world: the Surrey Village Fete.
iTunes
On Demand

On this week’s Gadsby’s England roundup, Paul Scholes says Wayne Rooney has been made a scapegoat for England’s World Cup failure, and Spanish club teams show just how big the gulf in class is between continental football and the Premier League.
iTunes
On Demand

A Gadsby’s England Matchweek Special as Gadsby reports from Cardiff on Wales vs. England, previews the Ghana friendly at Wembley and discusses the latest heated exchanges between the English press and Fabio Capello

iTunes
On Demand

On this week’s Gadsby’s England roundup, England rule out any possibility of a friendly in May, Holloway and Lampard add their support to Harry Redknapp for next England manager, plus a special appeal.

iTunes
On Demand

In the first of two special Gadsby’s England roundups, Gadsby looks back at the first half of 2010, England’s annus horibilis.


iTunes
On Demand

I was in the air on a flight from Zurich to Tokyo when the World Cup vote was called. My heart pounded as the captain strolled over, piece of paper in his hand. "I think you're going to need whisky, not champagne," he sighed, as he showed me that Russia and Qatar had been awarded the 2018 and 2022 World Cups by the Fifa Executive Committee, respectively. I looked at the Airshow moving map on my TV screen, and out the window, to a brutal irony: Moscow was below. Moscow, the now official host of the 2018 World Cup Final. Nine hours later, I looked at the Airshow again. We were still over Russia. FIFA has awarded a World Cup it pledged to Europe to a country whose reaches are further from the centre of Europe than Johannesburg or Rio de Janeiro.

But that is just the tip of a Siberian iceberg. This World Cup voting process has been the most despicable in a despicable history of the abominable organisation known as FIFA. English sour grapes? Not on your nelly. Let me be clear: Russia and Qatar have bought the FIFA World Cup. When Vladimir Putin appeared on Larry King on Wednesday night, instead of in Zurich, our first thoughts were that this was a blunder by the Russian bid. How wrong we were. Putin stayed away because he already knew it was in the bag, and his seemingly ambiguous statements on television were an eyeball-to-eyeball reminder to the possessors of the FIFA pockets he and his rotten rabble have lined that despite giving the England bid the highest rating in every category FIFA uses as criteria to select a World Cup host, it was the devil who owned their souls. Hard cash for the ugly Exco members, Polonium 210 for the beautiful game.

As to the football-passionate country of Qatar? Qatar, where women and homosexuals are given about the same rights as in England; England in the 15th Century. FIFA's selection of Qatar is at least the closest thing to an honest admission that they are an organisation which warmly welcomes bribery, law-bending, and moral bankruptcy. Panorama, your work's been done for you on this one! But don't worry fans, the stadiums will be state-of-the-art air-conditioned palaces. You supporters only need to worry about the 50C/130F June/July temperatures when you're not spending that long ninety minutes inside the stadium. And players, don't worry about the dehydrating effects of air conditioning pumping out to cool an area the size of...well, a football stadium.

So, the World Cups go to the largest country in the bidding, and the smallest. Little and Large, but in terms of size of 'brown envelopes delivered', and navigating around what those other annoying countries couldn't, like laws, your World Cup hosts couldn't be larger.

This is as black a moment to the administration of the game as hooliganism is to the actual game. It is now time not just for the English, but the world media to probe, expose and slice FIFA open so that every football supporter can see its rotten core. One must be careful of that great line from The Who, "Meet the new boss/ Same as the old boss", but FIFA in its current form must be disbanded, and replaced with an organisation which is transparent, accountable and lawful.

Some of the persons named below are honourable, decent and incorruptible. It is time to arrest, charge, prosecute and imprison the rest. We already have irrefutable evidence that Warner, Hayatou, Leoz, Teixeira, Temarii and Adamu are guilty. Do not forget this committee. It has been spitting in your face for years.


Joseph S. BLATTER President

Jérôme VALCKE Secretary General

Issa HAYATOU Cameroon

CHUNG Mong Joon Korea Republic

Jack A. WARNER Trinidad and Tobago

Ángel María VILLAR LLONA Spain

Michel PLATINI France

Reynald TEMARII Tahiti

Geoff THOMPSON England

Michel D'HOOGHE Belgium

Ricardo Terra TEIXEIRA Brazil

Mohamed BIN HAMMAM Qatar

Senes ERZIK Turkey

Chuck BLAZER USA

Worawi MAKUDI Thailand

Nicolás LEOZ Paraguay

Junji OGURA Japan

Amos ADAMU Nigeria

Marios LEFKARITIS Cyprus

Jacques ANOUMA Côte d'Ivoire

Franz BECKENBAUER Germany

Rafael SALGUERO Guatemala

Hany ABO RIDA Egypt

Vitaly MUTKO Russia

Nick Basannavar, my younger brother, has moved to Japan to teach English. He just sent this to me, and I thought it was so good it deserved to go up on the site. Take it away, Gadsby Jnr.:

In Japan I'm playing futsal regularly with a mixture of Japanese guys and (mainly English) foreigners. Every time I play it's like experiencing a microcosm of respective footballing cultures. The English are crushingly predictable. There's the dangerous, northern clogger who is all elbows, high feet and rushed clearances. A completely depressing fish out of water. Then there's the all-action box-to-box guy who I suppose has great heart, energy and spirit. He is quick, direct, shoots from everywhere, and can't pass the ball accurately (think Liverpool's captain). There's also the single-minded poacher who plays simply to score goals. He has no interest in build-up or fannying around with the ball. Head down, leather it, hope for the best. He scores loads of goals but each one feels completely vacuous. All of these players have a distinct, pigeonholed role and they are terrified to try new things.

Then there are the Japanese players. What a pleasure they are. There is a quiet humility to their play that is so different to the English mentality. They have an innate appreciation of space, and are selflessly thoughtful with their passing. To them, a pass is not about the pass itself. It is about the advantages and opportunities it can create for the recipient. In that respect each pass is like a chess move, considering all possible futures. The Japanese style is without ego and completely geared towards bettering the team. When they have a decent scoring opportunity, they tend to pass it up in favour of putting it on a plate for a teammate. They prefer one-touch or two-touch moves and goals rather than the individual having too much time on the ball. And they are right to. The key to their good football is playing simply and making the right decisions. Decision-making is everything. Above all, though, the Japanese don't worry about positions. A good footballer should be able to play in any position, and they understand this. Contrast this to the English who insist on adhering to their set roles. It's simple-minded, scared stuff that England churns out, geared towards winning at all costs, and it is completely true that the only solution is a total overhaul at youth level, and patience.

The Japanese are fucking terrible at finishing, though.